I Can't Wait Til...

You know what sucks?

Thinking that the grass is greener on the other side.

When I was younger and I couldn't do something I wanted to do, or go somewhere I reeeeally wanted to go, I'd say "Ugh! I can't wait til I get older." 

Age 11: "Man! When I turn 13, I'll officially stop being a little kid!"

Age 14 (Still a little kid): "I can't wait til I'm 16, that's when I'll be able to drive, get a car and go wherever I want!"

Age 17 (Still no car, still not able to go wherever, found out I hate driving): "When I turn 18, I'll be legal and out of the house, and I can be free!"

Age 18 (Back from college, still in the house, still not free): "Ugh! Why do I have to be in by 12am? I can't wait til I'm 21! That's when I'll really be legal to the world and free to do whatever I want!

Age 21 (Still not able to do whatever I want): "I AM SOO POOR! I can't wait til I graduate, get married, get a job, and make some money so I can travel, and finally be FREE!!"  

Now I'm 24, married, with a job, perfect position, right? I can travel with my husband and friends, and see the world, right? RIGHT?!

WRONG!  

Now there are bills to pay, so I can't just travel when I want. There needs to be a savings plan involved, I need to make sure I can take days off of work, and I have to make sure my husband's schedule fits as well. Oh, and don't even think about inviting some friends! Either they won't be able to take off work til April 2016, they can't find a babysitter for their 1 and 2 year olds, or they live across the country, and their work and commuting schedule won't allow for you to even talk, let alone plan a trip. 

I constantly find myself, even today, saying, "I can't wait til....we get a house, we get a second car, we can travel, til my book comes in the mail, til I get a new phone, etc." However, when I look back and ponder upon the best days of my life, I don't see a cool gadget, or a new appliance. I see Me, Dominique, Damon, Bianca, Brandon, and Jessica having an impromptu photoshoot at the Bryant's house;

I see, me, Brandon, and Jessica trying to make a commercial; I see me and Karyn walking the streets of ATL and bumping into a man with a hula skirt and a cape; I see me and Essie trying to learn a dance routine from Youtube; I see me, Cortney, Tiffeny, April, and Kitty playing "American Idol" in April's living room;
I see Koren pretending to be a pregnant woman at Buffalo Wild Wings; I see me listening to Kie's outrageous stories for hours on a Sabbath afternoon; I see me and Erica walking down a dark street making up a song about "Love";

I see me dying with laughter while watching Rachel impersonate someone on the way back from Panda Express; I see me, Donnesha and Kam laughing non-stop at our girl's night; I see me and Brittany Burden cracking up at VVP practice while Comalita and Brittani teach us a dance routine; I see Danel and Kitty delivering April's baby while Jessica, Tiffeny and I narrate;

I see me and Kara getting reprimanded for not breaking up a toddler brawl on Christmas; I see me Jasmine, and Quan jumping on a trampoline in Monica's back yard; I see me, Michelle, Tom, Chuck, Shavar, Jalen, Jasmine, and Quan watching "Save the Last Dance" and "Double Take" 3 times a day in Peoria; I see Jaya doing her "Girls lets go!" handshake in Jackson; I see Trinity and Lillian pretending to talk to a movie star in Ypsi; I see me and my grandma Sannyu adding honey to our flower and mint tea;

I see Ki'Yana sitting in a box pretending to be a news anchor; I see TJ dancing to High School Musical; I see me and Chanelle laughing at Tyra Banks singing "Be a Star!" I see me and Ashley (both introverts) walking from the White House with thousands of people around us with frost bitten fingers and toes;

I see me and Khadijia passing notes and laughing at Mr.Sharp's facial expressions; I see Marion freaking out about someone trying to take her cookie; I see me and the girls at Doris' birthday/Christmas party dancing to funky music; I see me, Dominique, Jessica, and Justin having a 5 hour talk about random thoughts while playing Dominion; I see me and Maya playing Just Dance; I see Dr. Nelson and Maya laughing at my "Flint" accent; I see my church family at Faith's house for the Corn Roast; I see my Mom irrationally and hilariously getting upset that I didn't use milk by the expiration date; I see my Auntie and Linda arguing about how strict my grandma was back-in-the-day; I see me and Dominique having a random movie night, or debating about whether "I don't know" is an answer. (It's not!)

Most of all, I see Dominique accepting Jesus; I see my wedding day with my beautiful friends and family; I see Damon getting baptized; I see those late night conversations with Danielle and Sara after Bible Study; I see Facebook posts with people declaring that from then on they're giving their lives to Jesus; I see people praying for someone else's health and salvation; I see LOVE. I see Jesus. 

We were created to love and be loved. No cool computer, high-paying job, sweet ride, or exciting adventure can fill the need for community and friendship. For too long, I've believed otherwise. I believed the lies of this culture, that all I need is me, myself and I, and I can't rely on anyone but myself, oh! and my most used phrase "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." People may not agree with me, but I believe that mindset is a defense mechanism, and one of the devil's tactics to divide, isolate and conquer. We're happier with our loved ones, we live longer around our loved ones, and we grow in compassion and love when we are surrounded around those who we love and who love us back. The next time you say "I can't wait til..." let whatever follows include the people you love, and things you love to do together.

I can't wait til we get to heaven, when Jesus, my friends and family can enjoy eternity together without having to worry about gas money, or whether they can take time off of work. I can't wait til we won't have to be hurt that we haven't seen or talked to our friend in months or years. I can't wait til we can reunite with ALL of our friends without having to worry if my friends from high school will get along with my friends from college. I can't wait til we sit at Jesus' feet together learning the complexities of our lives that we don't understand today. 

Until then, I resolve to live in the present, and build friendships for eternity. Everyday, I want Jesus to live in me. I want His character to shine through so that life in the present for myself and others can be filled with joy and contentment, and the only thing making us eager for the future is the promise of eternity with Him. 

Until later,

Marquitta J <3

P.S. The pink links throughout the post are videos ;) 

Life Hack: Avoid Sarcasm

sar·casm

noun

1. 1.

   the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

   
   

   
   

   Sarcasm is a form of emotional abuse.

   
   

   Don't be an abuser.

   
   

   Don't use sarcasm.

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

Be An Example

New American Standard Bible (©1995) Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Happy Sabbath!  Today's message at church was about being an example. The speaker talked about how many children who grew up to be very influential and Christ-like, also had amazing role models.

Unfortunately there aren't many good role models for good Christian behavior these days, but that's where you come in. For those who know Christ, we are called to be imitators of Him so those who don't know him can observe and be changed by the Holy Spirit. For those who don't know him and you want to, Click Here for a great resource to get you started!

Today has been a great day and I'm glad I heard that message. I'm challenging myself to be a good example.

❤ Marquitta J

"New Year, New _____?"

Every year, many of us come up with a goal and or resolution. It's something we want to change about our current selves or something we want to do that is typically out of character. The question is, will you really reach that goal? If you're looking for me to tell you "you won't reach the goal so don't try" or "Of course you'll succeed!" then I'm sorry to upset you but I won't tell you either. It is up to you whether you will reach it or not.

Ignore all of the unambitious people who say that it's pointless to make a New Year Resolution. If you want to create a personal goal to better yourself, who can hate on that other than people who have no goals in life? The human willpower is much much stronger than some think. I honestly believe that if you set your mind to your goal, pray for perseverance, and ask a close friend to hold you accountable, you can reach that goal.

Many people make the mistake in saying "It's a new year, and a new me". These people don't have New Year Resolutions, they have the desperate want to be someone they aren't. A new year does not equal a new you. You will never magically change from Ogre to Tyra Banks. It's fine to view the new year as a fresh start, but remember that your starting point is where and who you are right now. If you want to develop some character traits that you don't already possess, take it a day at a time! Practice that patience you want, and stick to it; soon you will have developed that trait and worked toward your resolution.

Take home points:
- Don't be discouraged because everyone else's New Year Resolutions fail
- Strive to make attainable goals
- A new year is not a reset button
- Work to reach your goals, because if you don't they will fail

The next time you hear someone saying that they have a New Year Resolution, don't be that person who says they won't reach it. That discouragement ultimately discourages people from challenging themselves and making steps to become better individuals, and without that you leave our society with disheartened, unambitious, lazy, selfish, and inwardly ugly people and who wants that?

♥ Marquitta J

Procrastinator Tips

Procrastination is bad and you need to change, but until you do, here are some tips to managing your bad habit.

- Keep a planner or an agenda and keep it with you at all times.

- When you have things that need to be done on a certain day, mark that it needs to be done 2 days before.

- When you find yourself engaging in mindless activities rather than doing what you should be doing, set your alarm for 10 minutes and when your alarm goes off, and take 15 minutes to do what you are supposed to be doing. Go back to your Facebook games for another 10 minutes, and then back to what you need to be doing for another 15 minutes. It may take a long time, but at least you'll be getting something done.

- When you need to get things done, do them in a nice, organized, and clean room.

- Make a to-do list and check off or cross off what you've already done. It'll make you feel more accomplished and motived to be productive.

- Go to the Library with other productive people, it might make you feel inadequate and drive you to do something. (Warning: If you have dangerously low-self esteem, do not do this.)

- Watch a motivational movie (Legally Blonde always motives me!)

If you have any tips for your fellow procrastinators, leave a comment! Hope this helps!

♥ Marquitta J

5 Types of Friends Kick to the Curb

1. The Leech
A person who always needs something, but never contributes. You'll know who this friend is when they call, and you look at the caller-id and say "Uhhh! What now?!" It's draining to have someone keep taking but never giving back. If you want to engage in a mutual friendship, this isn't it.

2. The Badders
A friend who always needs bailing out, literally. Its not conducive to your time or money to have to go get this person out of jail, then pick them up from the casino after gambling off their car, and dodge bullets from their baby's daddy's cousin's friend Ray-Ray who saw you flick his gang off at the gay bar. Seriously. Who needs all of that drama and inconvenience? They need to go.

3. The Competitors
Congratulations are in order when you reach that weight loss goal or ace an exam, but this friend does not only blow off your accomplishments, they try to top them off with their own. No matter how confident you are, you do not need to keep people around who try to 1-up you all of the time. Those people obviously have low self-esteem and need to do some self-evaluation and find their value. In the mean time, you don't need to stick around unless you want to be with them when they take that journey.

4. The Fairweathers
For better or for best, through health and only health, for rich or upper-middle-class...you get the picture.

5. The Obviously Bad
This category includes: Liars, Thieves, Con-artists, Manipulators, Blackmailers, Gossipers, Frenemies, etc. These people do not have your best interest at heart. You don't need people stealing from you, lying to you, and undermining you. Having these people around can be detrimental to your career, other relationships, and your character. These people help mold trust issues within yourself, low self-esteem, and their undesirable traits could rub off on you. Kick em to the curb!

NOTE: I am not promoting dropping people and treating them badly. Just because you aren't a friend that does not mean you have to stop being a good person as well. Find the lines between the two based off of your moral values and then determine what you need to do.

♥ Marquitta J

What does your Timeline say about you?

Almost everyone who has access to a computer has a Twitter page. Unfortunately. There are lists and lists of things that should probably never be Tweeted about, but not everyone realizes that. Take Alyssa Douglas for example: (see picture below) This poor soul had no idea that she's ruined any chances of ever getting a job in the future and may end up with possible jail time. She was just tweeting her thoughts like many of us do.

Aside from the obvious troubles that can come with tweeting all of your personal thoughts, there's also that thing that everyone dreads... Judgment. You may disagree and say "I don't care, people can't judge me because they don't know me", but hear me out. Whether we like it or not, the way people view us can enhance or destroy our current lives and our future, and like it or not, your innermost thoughts show pieces of who you are directly or indirectly. I was having a conversation with a few of my guy friends, and I mentioned a girl that we once knew. One of the guys said "I don't like her. She's a catty B-word". Harsh right?! So I asked "Why would you say that?" and he replied "Because I can just tell. Everything she tweets is..." I can stop right there to support my point. He came to that conclusion about her because of her Timeline. Whether its right or wrong to judge a person based off of that, people do, employers do, admission representatives do, possible significant others do, YOU do! Your reputation matters.

Ask yourself: what does my timeline say about me? If you find that your timeline isn't doing you justice, STOP tweeting every single thought you have. Sometimes those thoughts are best kept in your head, and sometimes not even there! Be smart on social media, and learn the definition of TMI.

♥ Marquitta J